So it begins

Good morning from the surgical waiting room at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, Texas. Mark and I got up at 4:15 our time this morning to be over here at 5 a.m. He rolled back to the OR around 6:45. The staff have been very professional and I really like the anesthesia team. They will be out to give me updates every two hours. The case is posted for eight hours, but we have been told it well might take longer. Three surgeons, a urologist, a plastic surgeon and our GI surgeon, Dr. Skibber will all be on the case. One slightly unexpected piece is that he is scheduled to go to the ICU after the case. I wasn't completely alarmed about that, but it does confirm what I suspected: the team expects this surgery to be harder than the one two years ago. And, that one wasn't a cakewalk.
Many people have asked me why I chose to do this alone. My mother and sister wanted to come and I don't think my mother understands it and I hope I haven't hurt her feelings. It goes back to the weird way I process stressful situations. I have professionally dealt with crises since I joined the volunteer fire and rescue department when I was 16. I think I do well with intense situations. Today, I can just concentrate on Mark and whatever I can do for him. I can detach myself from all the "what ifs" and just handle what comes. Later, after the intense phase passes, I think I might be more emotional. But, the key right now is to stay strong for Mark. I know he is in the best hands possible.
Of course, it could be that I don't have my shit together as much as I think I do. Two weeks ago, when Mark's urinary situation was almost unbearable, I wore a shirt inside out all day long. (Luckily, I had a jacket on most of the day). For this trip, I packed the most comfortable clothes and shoes I wear besides pajamas. I have these webbed black ballerina shoes that I like so much that I have two pairs. Those will be comfy, I think. So, this morning at 4:45 I pop those on to walk to the pre-op area. It wasn't until about 5:30 I realize why my shoes feel funny....I grabbed two left shoes. I looked like Eugene Levy in Best of Show, the guy with two left feet. That got a good giggle out of Mark.